Gabby's Blog

The concept of Posse was a response to something a college student said: “ I never would have dropped out of college if I had my posse with me.” Posses are now being sent out of various cities throughout North America to the nation’s most reputable institutions. Posse trained us to hone our leadership qualities and to talk about difficult and sensitive subjects that you might not hear so much on campus. We want to extend this onto our campus when we are there, but we want to take our mission of sharing Posse even further. We invite students, faculty and staff off campus, typically to the Desmond Hotel in Malvern, Pennsylvania to talk about. Posses all over the nation voted on this year’s PossePlus Retreat topic, which was Gender and Sexuality. After the buses picked us up in front of the admissions building and we arrived at The Desmond Hotel, we placed our bags in a holding room. We filled out our nametags, and dinner awaited us. It was a lovely experience to be surrounded by fellow Bryn Mawr students, Bryn Mawr professors, faculty and staff, as well as Posse personnel. The PossePlus Retreat began, and we were in for a challenging weekend.
We stood up, shared our names, where we were from and what we identified as.For example, I said, “My name is Gabrielle, I am from Boston, and “she”.” After defining terms with regards to gender and sexuality, every one was given a chance to raise their hands, pose questions and share feelings. The night kicked off with a lovely video filmed in New York and group discussions surrounding the film.

We were encouraged to think about the weekend as a martini glass. The larger part of the glass being the worldview, the stem being more personal and intricate to each person’s life, and the base which returns back to the community of Bryn Mawr. We had a chance to bring up issues that were important to us. I personally brought up the matters of bullying early on in the retreat, and one of my friends wanted to revisit the matter in the “create your own group” activity. Another group targeted the matter of the television in Erdman Dining Hall, which is now removed. Other groups discussed transgender students on campus, and there was so much more. We divided ourselves into groups that we felt apart of, for example, I was part of the group called “heterosexuals and ready to mingle”. To this end, we discussed why might the Bryn Mawr Community pose challenges in being identifiable with this particular group.
What was most important to the retreat was that it was a safe space. This was a space where any attendee could feel open to dig deep into the grooves of their lives, without fearing that their personal experiences would be retold. Also, this meant that it was a place of respect. If you were to have ideas, you could expect for your ideas to be challenged, without any personal attacks.

To get you warm and ready to go back to Bryn Mawr, you were greeted with tons and tons of warm fuzzies! Fuzzies are little post-it notes where people write things, nice things about you and how you might have touched them that weekend. A fuzzy can go from-I really like what you said- to I love your shoes!

I totally grew from this weekend, and I learned many things. If you would ever like to talk with me about the retreat, I am always more than happy to ☺

1) How come the men’s restrooms are always more convenient when in search of a bathroom? One would think it would be the other way around. In Canaday Library on the main level, the men’s restroom comes first in the hallway. I know, I know, that is only one example. I do feel happy when the dorm residents vote on which restrooms will be for men. Us ladies usually keep the pretty bathrooms for ourselves. It will either say “No Men Allowed” or it will have a note that you could flip to “Occupied” when a male guest is using the restroom. That way, no surprises. Just take note of how far you have to travel to the women’s restroom the next time , and see if you have to pass the lovely accessible men’s restroom on your way there.

Hmph.

2) A Calorie Shared Is A Calorie Shed!

Can you imagine receiving a cake or box of cookies from home? Chances are that you’ll have some friends who would like for you to share, or some friends who would like to devour your food. Even if it is just one bar of candy, if anyone asks, give half or a third. I have been going to Bryn Mawr’s gym very often. I’m trying to keep fit, but there are of course tempting foods. I find it that sharing is the best kind of passive exercise. Remember when someone asks for a piece- don’t silently pout in your mind, smile. You are shedding calories, and being a friend 🙂

I like Bryn Mawr, because to have a good time simply means that you open up your Bryn Mawr email account, message all of your friends, order pizza and sodas, and finally turn on the TV in the nice new lounge in Merion basement to watch the Patriots face the Giants. I was wearing my red and blue New England Patriots hat (with the little fuzz ball on top) and my friends showed up with their preferred team paraphernalia. There was only one supporter of the Giants present, and I love her for her strong spirits and courage. Especially, since she was surrounded by so many Patriots fans. I’m sure everyone living in Merion heard our shouts and screams from the basement. Today, a friend of mine from Boston actually messaged me this morning to say that he was still a little upset about last night’s tragedy. Although sad, I couldn’t prevent myself from laughing at his message, thinking about the overly high value we place on these games. However, I must admit that I too felt a shock in my heart when the time was up for the Patriots. A friend’s mother prepared vegetarian snacks for us, which was nothing but pure awesomeness. My friends danced and laughed aloud together. What was so cool about the evening was that people left having met some new, wonderful people. Our combined presence was what made the evening so rich. Some of us had our laptops pulled out trying to complete homework during the game, but concentration was completely interrupted when either team scored a touchdown. Honestly, all of us Bostonians were, and still are so confident (we will be back next year), that when we lost we were silenced. This provided the perfect opportunity for the one New York fan to get up, scream, cheer, and Harlem shake in our faces. I am laughing while writing this because even in losing, the atmosphere was still so fun. It makes me wish that the Super Bowl happened every weekend at Bryn Mawr. Cheers to the winners and to the Pats fans, not to worry! We vacation at the Super Bowl, this was nothing but a scratch.

Last semester of senior year can consist of a mixture of feelings. I in part, am anxious to be finished, afraid to be finished, and attached to Bryn Mawr. Who could not be? I have been here for four years, and Bryn Mawr has caught my falls, my moments of standing up tall, my laughter and my tears. Memories have been engrained in me here- some great, and some not so great.

So, here is the winning question for every five minutes: “What are your plans for after graduation?” Part of me wants to reply by saying that I have been accepted to the Graduate School of my mother’s couch. While many of us super women here at Bryn Mawr have a very detailed plan to follow their life after Bryn Mawr (which I of course admire), others, like myself can be more near sighted.

I am focused on performing my best until graduation in order to ensure that graduation comes by smoothly. My head is so buried in books, as I am sure everyone else’s heads are too. Thesis absorbs you. Luckily, all of our departments encourage us to write about something interesting and exciting. But until that is complete, I will not be able to full heartedly think about what comes after here. In the meantime, I have been carrying out casual job searches. I visit the Career Development Office from time to time for job exploration and applications.

The issue is that when someone asks me the “winning question” my anxiety sets in. My heart beats faster. Whether or not the person knows it or not, as soon as I leave the conversation, I walk and make a turn at the next hallway only to pull out my asthma pump.
As you can see, I am not one that does well under any sort of extra pressure. I can deal with the pressures of jobs, tasks, deadlines and expectations depending on who has them for me. My huge focus is graduation at this point, and I must keep my eyes on the prize. I have to cross one bridge at a time.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race. I recall there being one wonderful Posse Scholar who spent ample amount of time at home after graduation. She was focused purely on enjoying her family. Soon enough, her dream job came along. Now she coordinates international conferences and travels to different countries (all expenses covered). Sometimes it pays off to go slow and steady in following your dreams.

Can you imagine teaching someone anything, and learning from that person anything in return? A few semesters ago I learned how to rap from a dining hall staff member, and I taught them various modern day dances circulating through popular media. I know this sort of partnering was modeled after a program started at Swarthmore College, but when Bryn Mawr College participates in education related conferences, many universities and colleges are blown away about our structured educative program called Teachers Learners Initiative. This program is geared to giving everyone a chance to learn something that they may not have otherwise had the time, or chance to learn. A few semesters ago, I co-taught a MAC computer course to staff members. Each staff member had a student partner, and each week they had an assignment to work on together. We would later come back to class the following week and show what we worked on. Greatest of all, we teachers would not have the answers at all times, and so, we would show staff members how to sort of self-teach as well- in other words, YOUTUBE and about.com were your best friends.

Apart from that, weekly, the students would meet to discuss their weekly experiences. Sometimes you may encounter hardships with your partner, or questions may arise. I always experienced intense debates within my partnership because my partner was in love with “old school hip-hop”, and I, myself, am more into current day music that my partner was not able to identify with as much. We would often debate about which one is better. The small group meeting provided a genuine safe space for students to talk about the dynamics of their partnerships. If a student had controversial opinions about a certain topic, no one ever attacked the student. It was an intellectual, heartfelt space where your thoughts could be challenged, and this truly did help for so many people to grow as individuals.

At the end of the semester, there is one big meeting that mirrors the last small group meetings I mentioned, but this one includes the staff members and faculty. Everyone at TLI wishes that there were more meetings like this one, but everyone does have to work, and not all staff members and faculty can sacrifice many hours of the work day, which is understandable. There are so many rich interactions that take place in this program, and one can only wish for more time.

This time around, I will be taught different ways to manage stress, while I teach dance again. I am really excited about this partnership this upcoming semester, and I will cherish it, as it will be my last before graduation.

http://www.youtube.com/user/AllegraFletcher

Allegra Fletcher and I are both senior Posse Scholars due to graduate from Bryn Mawr in 2012. Our friendship precedes the Posse application process that we both went through in 2008. We both were Crimson Summer Academy Scholars at Harvard University, accepted in the summer of 2004.
http://www.crimsonsummer.harvard.edu/

Our friendship and love for one another has grown over the years and she has been one of my rocks throughout my college experience. Her singing is beautiful and she performs at many of the open mic events. She has participated in A cappella groups on campus. She has even performed at various cafés in Philadelphia. While in Boston, I often run into her while busking in the train stations. What I love about when she performs is that I can close my eyes and find peace within the sounds that I hear. For that moment I am not stressed.

She has no idea that I am writing this about her. I am sure that will catch her by surprise.

Some friends become family and what I have noticed about Bryn Mawr alumni is that they can very well be 95 years old and still manage to group together to have tea and discuss important matters. What an unbreakable bond.

http://www.biconews.com/opinion/bryn-mawr-opinion/21125-out-of-the-shadows-undocumented-at-bryn-mawr.html

None of this has actually happened as of yet, but I will reveal my master plan for the next three days. Tomorrow I will wake up, shower, brush my teeth and wash my face. Then I will probably sit at my desk and think really hard on how to improve my literature review. I will have to read many pages that were assigned for me to read in La Peste by Camus. Then, I will probably go to Haverford College earlier than my 1:30pm class so that I can talk to my teacher about a movie I watched called Sugar Cane Alley. This movie was about a grandmother who was a slave in Martinique on a sugar cane plantation. Her grandson, very young around the age of twelve was able to attend a school at this point. This was after laws were changing the extremely harsh conditions of course, but still things remained very tough for these folks. Her grandson was very bright and had won a scholarship to go to school in the capitol of the island. Any who, to continue, I will come back to Bryn Mawr on the blue bus and then will walk to the R5 train station nearby to head into the city to meet my mommy as she descends from her bus that is due to arrive at 5pm. After that, I will make sure she eats dinner, and I will probably try to look into my literature review even further. Then, I will head to modeling practice for the Fashion show at Haverford on Friday at 8pm in Founders Hall. After coming from the practice I will do some more work, and I will spend time with my mommy. When Friday comes, it will officially be my mother’s birthday, which is a huge milestone age for her. I went to the little bakery on Lancaster Avenue across the street from where Acme supermarket used to be located. The cake is so pretty with red and white frosting, and it reads “Happy Birthday Mommy”. I am going to try to convince my mommy to go to the dining hall for lunch with my on Friday. Sometimes she would rather just stay in my room and rest. Bryn Mawr to her indeed is like a huge relaxing trip. As I try to convince her to leave (I may have to drag her out), one of my friends will bring her cake to the dining hall. I hid it on the third floor, although I do not live there. After we sit down and eat lunch in Erdman, I envision all of my dining services staff friends bringing the cake out, singing, and chanting. I just realized that I forgot candles. Oh no! There is still time. Friday evening is the show, and I will have one of my good friends Jacky Handy make a wonderful announcement during it all saying Happy Birthday to my mommy. I hope this all goes well. To top it off, she does not know that I will be going back home with her when she leaves. The idea is to be packed, and to have my suitcase hidden from her so that she does not suspect the huge surprise until Saturday morning. The planning does not stop there. I have made reservations for Legal Sea Food, a nice seafood restaurant in Boston. I have called all of her dearest friends, and all that is left to do is rent the limousine. I must have you know, this is not coming out of my pocket. My aunt is the donor. For both of them, I will be forever grateful. I hope my mommy feels super, super special.

This blog post is dedicated to one person on the Bryn Mawr staff, housekeeping team. I have befriended most of the staff here at Bryn Mawr. I say hello to them and ask them how they are doing. I like to hear about their families and how they ended up working at Bryn Mawr. Some people pass them by because they’re sweeping the floor, vacuuming, wiping windows or straightening out furniture, but for me, passing is not an option. Many of them have become a family away from home during my time here. Of course not many people take the time to realize that no matter what the job description is, people are people and it doesn’t matter what they are doing as long it is earning, what my mother would call, an honest living.

One staff member in particular works in my dorm and she is the light to my mornings. It’s funny because sometimes I feel like a lost child searching for her in the hallways. Sometimes I even try to trace the faint sounds of the vacuum mowing across the carpet. If I hear nothing, I yell her name out loud as I walk down the halls. Any worry that I have I can tell her and she always gives me the best advice. Her spirits are always so high. Her love for God is so sweet that it makes me want to grow closer to him as well. Her appreciation for music is a delight to see, because I now realize so many of us take it for granted. Can you imagine the world without music? If I blast my music and hear a tap at the door though all of the noise; it’ll be her shaking her hips from side to side asking me what type of music it is. In my lowest moments when I am not feeling motivated she is there to open her arms and offer me a hug. Not the old, frail, artificial hugs that people give while present at functions they don’t want to be at, but the real hugs that will immediately suck all of the negative energy out of you. When I don’t run into her, it feels as though something is missing and when I am late for class and know I cannot stop to talk as long as I wish I could, I send her a text message to let her know once in a while that I am thinking of her and hope that her week is going well. She always responds telling me that she misses seeing me too…

Sometimes people are so focused on the idea of trying to change the world when they should just stop for a second and realize that there are people who are changing the world right before their eyes. Granted it’s one person at a time, but it’s in a way that is close and genuine. Make the personal connections count because there are some relationships that begin in college that could very well last you a lifetime. People like this person in particular have been one of my many pillars throughout my four years on this campus. I know I’m not the only one who has been impacted by her because so many people show her so much love. It’s rare that people don’t. I feel like it is important to not disclose this person’s name because to some other students, this description fits the lady, or male worker that they might see in their halls every morning working. It could very well be any staff member on this campus. For me, this is one, but there are many more.